So far from my heart

If I look up quickly enough
or turn my head suddenly
without any warning
perhaps I'll catch you unawares
perhaps then I will see you
or at least some essence of you
just one drop

In crowds I catch sight of you
I forget it's not possible
so my heart pounds
as my mouth dries
I want so much to believe
the evidence of my own eyes
even if they lie

I thought of you today
for no particular reason
wanted to pick up the phone
hear one of your stupid jokes
swap stories, shoot the breeze
just to listen to your voice
feel it's warmth

If I stop missing you one day
if this ache eases somewhat
will it mean you are any further
beyond the great divide
how big is eternity anyway
that it should take you so far
from my heart


  1. Jos, This is so amazing. It made my heart ache. I think we can all relate to this and to one we love who we miss, you have captured it beautifully. A zillion hugs my dear friend. xoxo

  2. oh oh oh oh oh jos. every word is used just right. that last question breathes and aches, we who understand one another. it comforts me in a friendship kind of way, you know, that you can put words to my heart too.

    i think you're great. don't forget.


  3. It makes me think of my lovely, troubled friend Douglas... for years he was out of touch and distant geographically; I'd all but given up hope of seeing him again when he reappeared. For several months until his death we were close again and I find the fact of his being gone for good peculiarly hard to accept. He "disappeared" once before, I find myself hoping that somehow he'll reappear, that one day I'll pick up the phone and hear him say "Joey?"

    Such a moving poem.