Note to a long time friend

I think you've mentioned that I’m soft
both in the heart and in the head
at least so you've said

But I just wanted to let you know
that I have not given up on us
even if it turns out that you have

Some say things they don’t mean
trying to soften the blow
or avoid it altogether with silence

So if I have misunderstood somehow
mis-read the signals or lack thereof
I thought I’d better just say

That this softness lasts a lifetime
and so you’re always welcome
to re-establish contact when you’re ready

Assured that our friendship endures
until or if such time comes
that you tell me otherwise

It feels like it’s been too long now
since we sat at your kitchen table
chatting into the small hours

Since none of my recent attempts
to tempt you into talking have worked
I’ll leave you instead with this thought

I can’t change the person I am or was
or any of the things I have done
despite having so many deep regrets

But something I can say in truth
is that no matter what happens
I will never regret knowing you

So now I’ll leave you finally in peace
for I’m not sure I can bear trying again
to scale the walls of your silence


  1. Hello Jos :)

    I'm so glad you took time to come and visit me. You were so very kind...

    Your written words are like gems. So honest and true. I will linger here and take my time to read more. :)

  2. very powerful words!

    thanks for the visit - I am enjoying your blog - your poetry is so strong.

  3. I have been here so many times. It is a true soul of friendship that keeps open the gates when there is no presence between them. But I can sincerely repeat your own words..."No matter what happens. I will never regret knowing you."

    Love & hugs

  4. Scale walls of silence. Those are the hardest to scale. But Jos, I thin on my own silence and sometimes it is something else. Sometimes it is life and something else entirely. Whatever the problem, it runs deeply between you two.


  5. Jos, whenever I come here, your words always resonate with me and I see so much of my own life in these poems.

  6. Jos -

    I respect your humble attitude. Your search for truth and beauty. You hold a friendship in your hands, you see and search deep into it. With your heart and your mind. Your attitude is noble and admirable.

    Then again. The word regret. I wonder about it. So strong. So very very strong.

    Sometimes we take on a burden which is not ours to carry. We grab a complete parcel where we only own a share.

    We want control, for only that way can we hope to make good. We are blinded in our attempt to solve the mystery.

    I do not know anything about your regrets. I do not know what they contain. I can only speak from my own experience. This is what I have learned - If I steal something which is not mine, I am sent to prison. I am sentenced to a life behind bars.

    But I love your sincerity. Hold on to it! Hold on to it! Without forgetting to be fair to yourself.....


  7. Jos, please forgive my absense into your wonderful world. No excuse....just life.
    But, now that I caught up into your world, let me tell you, that next to Opera....poetry is my conduit to joy.... and you have such a wonderful blog! Remiss does not cover it....
    but, now I am here and will return regularly.

    As for Opera.... it is enough that you love Verdi....but (I confess) if your ears, heart and soul can open up for Wagner.....then, you will have made this girl very happy! And if not, I will STILL be here!

    Stay in touch, dear Jos!


    ♥ Robin ♥

  8. Blimey I really must get better at returning comments! I'm so sorry.

    Amalia, I am so glad to have found your blog. It is full of beautiful words and images. So gentle.

    Mim you have to know that Miss Em is fast becoming a favourite of mine. You have a real talent there you know.

    Ah Annie, how you know my heart. I need not say more.

    I know it might be something else Erin, I too am given to periods of silent withdrawal ... not from friendships themselves but from contact for a while. Sometimes we just need to I guess. But this is something more and it makes me sad.

    Annie I am popping by your blog later to comment about the Renee Raven. How perfect is that ... that Renee has found such a meanigful way to visit you!

    Grete, how thoughtful and insightful you are, thank you for taking the time it means so much to me. Regret is a strong word, I own to it still. How I wish there were a way to undo. I would give much to be able to. But you are right in that the control thing is so true. It seems necessary and yet is ultimately so counter-productive. Friendship is never about control.

    So Robin, I have filched my mothers Ring Cycle set and am set to educate myself ... wean myself off of the lighter side of opera. I'll let you know how I get on!

    Many many thanks for all the comments. Really. Despite my tardy response it means a lot to me that you took the time. xx Jos