Knowing

There is some peace in knowing a thing
even if the thing in question is not a good thing
or at least not inherently good or bad
for only our interpretation provides the label
time and perspective change even these

I'd thought there was little harm in my doing
harmless escapism from the reality of now
which over time slowly became a necessity
what was once escape became chain-like
entrancing me, links finally entrapping me

Links that gradually turn a person who knows
into one that has forgotten what knowing means
except you never forget some things do you
thinking is the mental equivalent of bike riding
a provider of rational insight even in trying times

But there is a potential trap even here
pride lurks ever present in the thinkers mind
persuading us that thoughts of such value
provide answers in themselves ... ah yes
but without actions thoughts are meaningless

So although there is some peace in knowing
there is also unease, a pause, a hesitation
where is the effect ... the follow through
what value is there in a thought agreed with
but not acted upon ... stasis is no answer

Fundamentally then this is a form of delay
a case of passive resistance masquerading
as thinking it through, or maybe buying time
to what? ... well, to dance just one more time
or two more times, perhaps even just three ....

Do you see how it goes, thinking like this
it is a part of the lunacy, part of the knowing
part of this strange sadness of letting it go
something that seemed at first to be a friend
but under clear skies shows it's uglier face

A friend no more then, a parting of the ways
acceptance beckons upon our acquiescence
as thought becomes resolve and in turn action
but when a friend has two faces it can be hard
to remember the harsher version of the two

And so it is that reminders must be written
this friend can be nice but only for a short while
the consequences of this friendship are dire
things that feel good are not always good for me
friends that are not friends are in fact enemies.

7 comments:

  1. Wow, now I want in your head but only for a minute. You are very strong.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  2. I had lunch with such a one today...begging friendship on, promising it was enough, yet ending with lasso, trying to pull me back. And I wanted to go, where I shouldn't ...another dance, or two, or three..."a harmless escapism from the reality of now". But I played that dance card before and I escaped nothing, but dug a deeper pit. Please, please, please...let me have learned.

    My pain, keeping company with yours. Wishing you strength, wisdom.

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  3. many interesting points here. for me personally, i'd prefer to not know, whether inherently good or bad. some things i don't NEED to know, cause although they may not colour my thinking today, they may tomorrow, so unless i NEED to know, leave it. and maybe that's why i just cannot tolerate gossip. unintentionally it could cause harm, and you'd never even know...

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  4. I see strength and self awareness here.

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  5. I have a great idea. Brilliant really.

    Turn off your head and I will turn off mine and then I will move over under the blanket and you and I can just look into each others eyes and send messages of peace.

    Let's do it.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  6. Look at Renee up there being so totally brilliant.

    Sometimes all action can just be cacaphony though, too. There needs to be a proper marriage between all this thinking and doing. And just who will be the flower girl?

    I need to catch up. I have too many in my reader and find myself losing track of some very special ones.

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  7. A. you have just expressed how I feel about
    a teenage friend. Knowing her too well, as
    she has re-entered my life, and not being
    able to deal. How does one gently pull away?

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete