How does one find any kind of faith in the hour
of someone else's urgent deepest need
of what benefit are my faithless prayers
said in yearning hope rather than conviction

Is it the futility of hope against the inevitability of fate
or does earnest prayer tip the balance in any way
anyway, I have been re-learning the art of prayer
not hard you might think, after all it's just words

But prayer for me is essentially an act of faith
and faith is something I find I have in short supply
but in the absense of concrete ways to offer help
I resort to applying myself to this simple task

Ambivalent if only because of the deep injustice
of seeing one person bearing the burden of many
of seeing misfortune piling higher each day
eroding hope, despite heroic laughter after tears

Aware once more that lifetimes are so short
when measured against the yardstick of infinity
that my perception of injustice and unfairness
is also my ignorance in the face of omniscience

And so it is that faith flickers on in my soul
enabling entreaty, conferring grace and hope
asking only that the unendurable be lifted
that strength be given to bear what can't be borne

Healing, can I ask this if it's on behalf of another
if I only get one wish it would have to be this
if you can create does it mean you can re-create
actually I don't really mean can you, but will you

Will it be too much to ask that you are where I cannot be
holding her hand and the hands of those she loves
if I cannot be there to share in the fire walk
will you hold them up, provide courage in the flames

Safely guiding them through the darkest of times
binding them tightly to you and to each other
the faint flicker of faith is still alight here in me
so I hold her in my heart as I say another prayer

I could rail against a God who lets this happen
curse him or her all the way to hell and back
... and I have, far too many times to mention
but when I ask on anothers behalf it's different

I made a promise that I would pray every day, so I do
faithfully praying for more faith to pray for miracles
faithfully praying that miracles happen for these few
wishing it with all my might, with all my heart

Renee I love you too. xx Jos


  1. Jos you are a gift to me. When I pray I ask for God to be with me and I see that he is through your prayers, because you are God-like and you are with me.

    I love this so much and it means the world to me.

    Love Renee xoxo

  2. Uncanny.

    I planned on going two places when I sat down. I just went to Renee's and now I am here. All the way through this I wondered if it was her you were talking of. I have given up my hedonistic ways and offered to pray on Renee's behalf, leap on faith for the sake of a beautiful woman. And I just left there offering to flip god off I she requested.

    I have thought on this curious notion, the praying for others. I've offered to do it. And then the prayers get caught in my mouth, a strange lump that I'm unsure how to articulate, but I do, and then I hope, and I leap and then when all else fails, I flip the universe off.

  3. Dear Jos how are you doing? I want to know how you are doing.

    Love Renee xoxo

  4. Jos I am glad that today is a good day. Today is a good day.

    Jacquie and Sheldon aren't doing to well and it is a hard day today, but it is still a good day.

    Love Renee xoxo

  5. I love you and I'm crushed today.

    Love Renee xoxo

  6. Renee I left a message for you on your blog (as usual) I just want to say that there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of you, of Jacquie, of Sheldon ... that I don't pray that you be made well ... all of you ... and if not well then that you feel close to God, surrounded with hope, peace, faith. xx Jos

  7. You do more than you will ever know.

    Love Renee xoxo

  8. Jeeze, this is hard. I just popped over here for the first time and I have no idea what's going on but I feel so bereft! For whatever, I am so sorry.

    Loved this post on prayer. It is one of my greatest struggles and God and I battle over this a lot. I push against the need to shoot up wishes and repentances like arrows, hoping they find their mark. But when you have no control and the world spins on an unearthly axis...what have you left but to cry out "Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now." (Nicole Nordeman)

  9. Anonymous me- a common thread it would seem. Curious that so many are feeling the same way of prayer and faith at once. The fervent prayer of a righteous man is supposed to avail much but I feel anything but righteous these days. Take care~rick