30 Days of Truth - Day 12

Something you never get compliments on.

I'm not altogether clear how to interpret this one. Pin-pointing a specific area infers that I think there are things where I feel entitled to compliments. Ha! The vagaries of the over-literal mind.

I do feel under-appreciated at times. Not often though. I don't give it much thought. Mostly it's at work. Sometimes though it's at home too. Since Trev lost his job things have been pretty tight financially. This causes me a lot of stress as it does Trev too. Rows erupt out of nothing because of this stress. We are both trying to recognise this and address it. Part of this is paying more attention to each other and complimenting one another more.

Generally speaking Trev doesn't compliment me at all often. So I have taken to telling him when I have a new haircut or a new blouse on ... whatever it is. He wouldn't notice otherwise, but with a not-so-subtle hint from me he will respond with a compliment. Kind of defeats the purpose but then I suspect that he is never going to become more observant. I have got used to it.

I don't generally get compliments about my looks but that's OK, I don't spend much time or effort on looking any particular way except on very special occasions. I don't feel at all comfortable when I am dressed up, to the point of avoiding doing so if at all possible. Particularly if I think it will be necessary to wear a dress or other quite feminine clothes. It makes me feel awkward ... which seems so silly at my age! I still can't walk in heels of more than about an inch in height. I prefer shabby casual. The jeans I am wearing today are about 8 or 9 years old and wearing out. I am loath to replace them despite obvious threadbare patches and worn seams.

I have had 2 hairdressers in the last 18 years and would be still going to the first one if she were still working. It takes me ages to break in a new one ... to stop them banging on about lifting roots, volumising, waves, perms, highlights, low lights, tips, covering grey, .... "all I want is a haircut please ... no extras thanks." If I can get away without having it being blow-dried I do. I don't like my hair being messed around with. I don't like the feeling of someone hovering around me.

I love my current hairdresser Nathan. He gets it. He washes and cuts. I'll let him blow-dry it because he is really quick about it. He knows I hate the blow dry bit. We chat all the way through my visits. I know all about his family and he knows about mine. I've been going to him for about 5 years now. I've stopped hating getting my hair cut which I attribute largely to him.

Hmmm .... quite a lot about my hair in this post. I like that it is going grey. Some of my women friends think it's odd that I am greying naturally. They compliment me on being so brave ... kind of a non-compliment hidden in there somewhere! They are kind about it though which makes me smile. I have some lovely friends.


  1. Jos, we are so alike, I too don't do a whole lot to perk myself up, lately it has been getting worse :-). My hair is almost all white now and just a cut thank you serves me too. I like to give compliments though because I think too few people get them and they make people smile. From your facebook photo I can tell you have a beautiful smile and sparkly eyes :-).xoxo

  2. My hubs rarely compliments me either. I wonder though if it's because I always refuff them. I don't believe him so I imagine he just stopped trying somewhere back there. So now I try to make a big deal out of it when he does say something.

  3. Regarding the grey hair, I don't think they're really pointing out that you're brave so much as they're admitting that they are cowards.

    (I see so many people spelling it 'grey' when all my life I've considered it 'gray' - but both are correct, according to the dictionary)

    Also (on behalf of husbands everywhere), let me just say that asking a woman to be your wife is the greatest compliment any man can give a woman.

    (You know how men are about big moments - we go to sleep soon afterwards)