stay here

Can I talk about this rage? Can I find some way?
can I speak with any kind of coherence on this?
that's where writing helps, you can't really shout
it's a safe way of emptying out, but it seems so slow
which is probably good for really what's the rush
it's not like we haven't been living with this forever.

I guess it might sound pretty stupid, well it does
but it is the unfairness which still really gets to me
the fact that someone without even a by your leave
can take something irreplaceable and just crush it
just stomp on it and tear up our precious innocence
which can't then be mended, can't be re-made whole.

I look over my brothers life and see destruction
I look over mine and see quite a lot of that too
and that's not right, that something that happened
so long ago should define much of the here and now
I can't let that be, well, I can't let it be for me
I'd like to help, but I must heal further first to see.

If I can heal further, start seeing a way through
then I can take steps by showing this way to you
and then maybe we'll both make some progress
both have a hope for the future without this stuff
it seems to me that we've spent time enough now
healing can start through acceptance I've heard.

Accepting the things you can't change is the key
letting it go, I mean really letting it just rest and be
turning your mind and staying here in the present
where there is life, love, such rich fullness to be had
and if we ever feel that dark sadness creeping back
we can turn away, we can look at what is right here.

These pictures and sensations they aren't even real
they're memories, so if we keep telling ourselves that
and reminding ourselves just how safe we are now
our little me's can be protected by our adult selves
little me's need never again feel that old pain and fear
our adult selves can keep them safe, keep them here.

The present is a guard, a protection against the past
learning to stay grounded here will help us heal
and that's what I wanted to say to you, forget rage
forget trying to change what cannot be in any way
if I go first will you follow, will you allow me to be
finally someone who can be part of both of us healing.