What's true

It was that bloody song on the radio
which set off this train of thought
and before I knew it you were inside my head
and I didn't want to think,
I didn't want to feel again
those loathings of self contempt

I want to be new person
I'd like a trade in please
no looks are not important, and neither is age
it's the inside bit I'm in need of
just a new brain and heart
do you think I'll need a soul

And whilst you're looking perhaps red hair
I remember wanting red hair
but as I said it's not important, no really
it's the workings that need fixing
not the outer shell which is fine
I need a new improved mind

And I need to learn that what you think
is not the same thing at all
as my own values or judgement and ethics
So even whilst I see contempt
written quite clearly across your face
I know that I'm fundamentally OK

Why does it even matter to me any more
why is it that your approval or not
has a way of changing the way I believe
the value with which I hold what's true
falls silently to the ground
this fragility is astonishing even to me.