Something needs saying

I can't keep all this inside for ever you know.
Do I regret it?
Are you kidding me?
To regret it would be to deny
To reject even ...
No ... I can't ... I won't do that.

I just can't get a handle on it somehow
The feelings are very confusing
Troubling and at the same time
Well .... what's the word?
The word to describe how it felt at the time
It felt glorious ... that's it.

It has changed things though ... for me anyway
Not a lot ... but I wonder
I wonder if you wonder
Or if you've just filed it away
Something to treasure
Or perhaps just forget

I can't be blase about it ... or cool
Can't pretend it's not important
It's affected how I see things
Myself primarily I guess
God ... so many years
So little experience