I will write and write
until the pain lessens
like in the olden days
when we were bled
to remove the toxins
I will cut into myself
to remove the flaws
until I am nothing more
than I was before


  1. but we are always more. always. even when it hurts. perhaps especially then.

    your essence is good. be careful what you cut.


  2. For me, writing is healing. Things come out of me that amaze and scare me when I sit to write. Take care of your heart above all things, Jos. Protect it and treat it gently. Sending you love, prayers and blessings!

    "The pen is the tongue of the mind." ~Don Quixote

  3. Jos, I could not stay away as you are writing, after so long. I feel so much pain in these words. I wish there was something I could do to help. Do treat yourself kindly, you are a wonderful woman. xoxo

  4. I am meeting with a cutter tonight, try to talk her down from the scalple of her pain...but I understand the call to surgery, the desire to excise. I would say that you are not flawed Jos. There is perhaps brokenness that needs mending. We will heal with our pens in blood red ink. We will heal with our fingers locked and laced.

    I love you my Citrus girl! Be orange.
    ~ Annie