Talking

Why isn't it enough?
I mean, I know it sounds simple
I know it sounds like no answer at all
but beneath some of the simplest words
lies so much more, what can I say?

I can say that I love you still
I can say that I won't leave you
I can say that we will get through this
I can say that I'm doing what I can
I can say that we will work this out

You look away, it is not nearly enough
bloody hell, what am I missing here?
What can't I see for the want of looking?
I can feel frustration fusing with anger
and I can see too the edge of despair

I walk out of the room and downstairs
Because I cannot lose patience now
Now that you are finally here again
I must find a way to be clearer, more direct
My promises are always more than words.

How can I demonstrate what you already know?
By telling you things you've heard before?
By acting in ways you've no right to expect?
Should I shout, rage, rant, yell, or scream.
Should I become someone different altogether?

But how will it help you if I am not me?
I can not promise what I can not do
I just can not be someone like that
How often do I have to show you
the constancy of my solemn promise?

I will find a way you know, I won't give in.
I will break this wall down to reach you
and offer once again the same old deal
and that is just me, for I've nothing more
Nothing I can give you but more of myself.

So I climb back up the stairs to find you
and we sit once more amongst the guitars
I look into your face and say simple things
of love, of hope, of the worth of promises
and I wait shivering inside, will it suffice?

I feel like such a child in the face of this
I try to make sense of your long diatribe
I feel your distress so keenly, it's loud
and harsh and the edge of your voice cracks
as my vision narrows in onto your face.

Fear prickles as I see your face contort
Withstanding hard words hammering down
and yet looking, for I will not look away
I will not buckle beneath such truths
I owe you always this level of faithfulness.

I will not un-listen when you so need to be heard
I can do this, I am this person, this is me.
I will not break faith now, see? ... do you see?
And when tears start to flow I see you once more
the you I know, the you I have been waiting for.