I've been looking out from the shore for a while now
Looking for signs of you out there amongst the waves
Sometimes I think I see a splash of colour, your arm perhaps
Or maybe your hand waving. Are you waving or signalling?
How can I tell from here where I'm waiting in the silence
This is just no good at all, worse than useless in fact.
I take off my shoes, never mind about getting wet, wade in
Strike out from the shore in search of the gentle man
And should I find you out here, what then my love, what then?
Will you and I learn to float on our backs and look at the sky
Will you laugh when I ask you to try such childish things
For in acting like a child we can come to a place of healing.
I see you here far from the shore, it looks so distant right now
I make my way over and look for signs that you know I am here
The look of your despair washes over me and I feel the undertow
But I can not, will not sink here into the depths of your misery
I will find a way to offer more than my company against this thing
I won't let it be that you must learn to swim such distances alone.
I must strike for shore, I won't try to persuade you right now
I can see that your focus is too far within, your energy too low
I will try to build something of use, some kind of raft maybe
Something to float out to you next time, some way of staying
For I know that this loneliness must be killing you too out here
The simple things I have to offer aren't enough, but I miss you.
I miss the way you look at me when coming out of the shower
Eyes squinting through the steam, is that you, you ask ... as if ...
I miss giggling under the covers and making up jokes in the dark
I miss feeling that you are here, I miss feeling there is an us
I feel my reserves depleting and know I must stop looking inside
I must find a way of fighting this darkness before it takes us both.
Or shall I just leave it as you ask. Shall I walk alone along the shore
Knowing you are out there, knowing that the undertow is so strong
Is it enough that you can see I am here, shall I light a fire?
Mark the place of safety with light, heat and the warmth of my heart
Shall I swim out and float near you to show you again how it's done
The undertow scares me too, but I will fight it, please try too.
Praise Song by Lucille Clifton
14 hours ago