My Valentine

Sometimes I look over at you with a completely detached stare
I know it un-nerves you when I do that, since you told me so
But it's not like I don't see you doing the same thing is it?
You know that song .. the one you belt out when playing the strat
Neil Young has such an incredible voice which I know you relate to
Am I imagining the extra emotion you give to it when you sing
how does it go now, that song ... Love The One You're With?

And that's what I wonder about when I see you with her still
it seems there's a quality that isn't there when you look at me
and the way you are when chatting on the telephone,
even without looking I can hear the smile in your voice
and so the lyrics unbidden pop into my mind and resound there
"there's a rose in a fisted glove, and the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"

I was starting to think that this might in fact be the case for us
and that the reason you stayed isn't deep abiding commitment at all
More a realisation that the options are no longer what they once were
and since she's gone you might just as well make the best of it with me.
But does it lack passion, zing, an edge of excitement and of uncertainty
I can never be the person she is, if I'm honest I can't even get close
Is the person I am so very at odds with the dream you hold so dear?

So when you said "will you"? I was more than a little shocked I suppose
I had been thinking once more that your plans lay elsewhere altogether
and I was beginning to resign myself to the prospect of our separation.
Imagine my suprise, my joy, my fear, my uncertainty, my doubt, my love.
For in the end after all we have and continue to be to one another
one thing holds true for me, and that is the love I have had from the start
I don't know how you did it, but that day you rocked up you stole my heart.

And so this Valentines Day feels odd in a way, well more so this year
as you have withdrawn and are now elsewhere whilst seemingly also here
and I am waiting to see your return. I am waiting to see if you want to even.
And that sadness that I felt before is back, that same old doubt and fear.
I'm wondering if you almost prefer to stay there in the shadows of your mind
than to be here with me. It lies heavy on my heart these long silent days.
Would you rather I just left you alone in your self induced solitude my love?

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