I am trying to capture a meaning
Trying to make some sense of it all
I am watching your mouth move
And I'm hearing the words falling
clanging hard and sharp, jarring
It's almost at the edge of my vision
Do you ever see or feel sounds?
I do, and I know that seems strange
I can't think how else to describe it
Except to say that sounds have shape
Well not just shape now I think on it
but texture too, smooth, prickly, undulating
and so listening is more than it seems
and works on different levels for me
But that won't help me now, as I crash
Jarred back to the present I'm caught
by the silence of you awaiting my reply
can I re-wind and listen to what I've heard
or must I admit that my thoughts just then
completely crowded out what you were shouting
It's the harshness of your tone maybe
perhaps the volume too, the abandon
the very real risk that this will escalate
into one of those ... you know what I mean
yet another time of saying the unsayable.
So I turn inwards and walk away inside
to a place where the sounds are muffled
the edges taken off and wrapped in light
so I can carry the weight of meaning
when it finally does emerge into my mind.
Because when you're done we look away
for we both know that this shouldn't be
It really can't be allowed to happen again
the fallout last time was almost enough
to see us walking through the door of no return.
When I finally capture your meaning
I swallow hard and looking at you now
I remember to smile, well almost smile
For such a simple gesture on my part
Speaks volumes of what is in my heart.