Night games

"What in heavens name is going on here?"
it's the exact tone from my childhood
whipping my head around knowing I won't see
my mother resplendent there in her ire
those ancient towering rages with hissing lips
and hands itching to do their own damage

No when I turn my head I just see her
my sister, and so parody comes to play
I look over at William but he's no help
he knows I'll take the fall for whatever it is
he always has the perfect alibi that one
he just shrugs waiting to see what'll unfold

We're sitting in the bathtub at 2 in the morning
I 'm torpedoing our frogmen with bath balls
whilst William is making not-so mini tsunamis
resulting in some splash-out unnoticed by me
well at least until a proper grown up arrives
causing the mantle of responsibility to re-settle

Funny really, it all started innocently enough
as pretty much all of these things do I find
with a squeaky creak of the door in the dark hours
"Jos I've been sick and it's all everywhere"
an altogether accurate assessment as it turns out
he looks like he's been dipped in a vat of vomit

Well the only solution presenting itself to me
is a wash down with a hot soapy sponge
followed by tucking us in the folds of my bed
ha, such expedience is to be denied however
"we need a bath, I want a bath with you Jos"
such imperiousness as only 4 year olds weild

Negotiations thence commenced in earnest
I want assurances of near deathly quiet
and I want first go with the blue frogman
as it's the only one that works as it should
and I want to sit at the tap end with my legs out
because I don't like being squished at one end

After due consideration we compromise
I get the tap end with it's extra depth and warmth
but I have to keep my legs up my own end
which sounds anatomically impossible
but let's gloss over that for the moment
I do at least win first go with the blue frogman

So you see, it wasn't my irresponsibility at all
that led to merry splashing in the early hours
a complete drenching of the bathroom floor
an instant reneging on the deathly quiet promise
I'm completely unable to compose a serious face
as I try to explain how this wasn't my fault.