A little bit sad

Such a strange thing this ... your superior smile
telling me that I'm naive beyond your credulity
but what if I tell you that it's by my own choice
that I have chosen to trust rather than the opposite

You tell me that this hurt is then my own fault
for being unable to read the underlying signs
that lie between the lines of what’s said and unsaid
askance at my incomprehension of the obvious

It seems beyond belief that I do not understand this
unless you understand that I do not see as you do
so signs need to be high up and fluorescent bright
not asides that apparently any idiot would pick up on

Purposeful naivety, is there a specific word for it
probably not, so maybe I should create one of my own
for I own to this approach with my whole heart
and I would rather be hurt than be the cause of it

If you need to be smart to understand all this stuff
then leave me in my ignorance so I can find friends
that do not scorn and scoff at my attempts to integrate
and since when was laughter such a potent weapon

I see your wry grin as you state that I am just childish
whereas I'd say I am child-like which is not the same
for I've had the benefit of many long years of living
in which to learn and understand what's important

And although your good opinion of me would be nice
I'd rather stand tall under the gaze of my own estimation
than whither inside trying to pay the price to meet yours
so I'll aim to remain child-like in whom I choose to trust

Even though the price might be more times like these
when ridicule will aim it's sharp arrows at this soft target
I know the price paid for a hard outer shell is even higher
which makes it funny in a way, and just a little bit sad too.


  1. I think that those who find it necessary in their core to belittle are in constant need of raising themselves up. It is not our job (us child-like people) to give them that opportunity. Their rage is just that, theirs. Or so I believe, although at times it is hard to live along side it.

    To be in the company of child-like people is a great gift to me. I'm grateful to know you. You're strong in this one, Jos. Fantastically strong.


  2. jos, who has been nasty to you? i hate them already. or rather pity them for not seeing what a diamond you are.

  3. "I'd rather stand tall under the gaze of my own estimation,than whither inside trying to pay the price to meet yours"

    Bravo! I wish I were more like that. People often dictate my measurements, because I allow them that power. It's ridiculous. But I am becoming...more...as she who stands. Unfortunately my own estimation is often the least common denominator.

    Love u

  4. Thing is Joker that this happens a lot. You know what I mean. Why is it that when people chat together they say so many things they don't mean ... or believe? And so when I respond ... well, I say it how I see it. Response ... laughter ... ridicule. And so I sit here feeling like a fool.

    But not for long. Because I am lucky. I have friends good and true. Friends like you. In the same way that I am sometimes hurt I am just as often amazed by the kindness some people show.

    xx Jos

  5. I soooooo get this... I do... It is a choice to trust. We are not stupid women, for how can we be when we've lived how we've lived and survived. We are women that choose to wake up in the morning and gracefully look at ourselves in the mirror knowing that we dared risk it all, that we dared to put ourselves wholly into the unknown, that we dared being hurt, rather than hurt another or wake up years from that moment wondering if we could have... Much much love. xo