Learning to let go

History itself is irreversible it's true
no I mean it's really really true
beyond dispute or the power of wishing
even if you yearn with your entire being
the past remains resolutely unalterable

Remember it or not
it matters not a jot

So then it's not a matter of undoing
or re-hashing it over and over again
it is over, to be filed away in the archive
the only thing that can change now
is how we choose to think of it



For some reason I've always thought
that true healing meant undoing
and re-making over again but whole
because I wished it so, so much
I wanted the done to be undone

I didn't want a papering over of the cracks
I wanted the cracks to be mended
the parts fused without scar tissue
I wanted it to look better than this
smoother, cleaner, more complete

Clinging on to impossible wishes
only serves to encourage us to shelter
from the truth on all sorts of fronts
we indulge in our hopeless fantasies
rather than engage in the reality of living

But life refuses to lay down passively
beneath the insubstantial blanket we fashion
to insulate ourselves from the cold winds
of a reality we're unwilling to face
instead it continually rises up to confront us

And in doing so we turn to rail against it
this injustice of not getting our hearts desire
feeds into the general frustration within us
calling from inside us in increasingly strident tones
this is not right, this is not how it should be

But the fact of the matter is, that it just is
and whether that be right or wrong is immaterial
for when what is now is caused by what was then
then transformation to what should have been is impossible
and so learning to let go starts with accepting what is

to be continued ...

3 comments:

  1. This is one of my favorite songs Citrus...

    ♫I've been lookin' at things in a negative light
    Clippin' my wings in the middle of flight
    My motor is running on the heartaches of life
    But it's gettin' me nowhere fast.

    I've been relivin' hurts that seemed far away
    Siftin' the dirt that covered the grave
    Of the petty offenses I never forgave
    But it's gettin' me nowhere fast.

    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart
    I will forget
    I will forget.

    Well I find that I'm just not agile enough
    To balance the weight of all of this stuff
    It's a cumbersome task that demands too much
    And it's gettin' me nowhere fast.

    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart
    I will forget
    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart
    I will forget
    I will forget.

    As far as the east is from the west
    These are the things that I must forget
    I'll lay down my anger before the sun sets
    I will forgive
    Oh, and I will forget.

    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart
    I will forget
    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart
    I will forget.

    I will remember not
    I will forgive
    These things that tear my heart...♫

    ((Hug)) You are working so hard hon. Bravo!!!

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  2. Dear Jos,
    First, how wonderful to have you come to visit my blog! You have been greatly missed.

    Second, I do know how hard it is to let go, and lean on others...but, believe me, I have learned, after visiting KJ and meeting Lo, Mim and Suki in person.... these ladies are as REAL as it gets. Without Renee, without all of the above-mentioned, I would not be as strong and yes - even positive - about life in general.

    You ARE deeply loved and respected in our "community"... always remember that. Just know we love you and embrace you and send you strength and courage!

    Should you ever want to, you can reach me at:
    Lilacrobin@att.net.

    Big hugs - much love!

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  3. Jos,
    I have learned through hard lessons that we all have to take responsiblity for ourselves and what happens to us, not be victims always blaming others. I see in you a person who does take responsiblity, sometimes maybe too much :-). Through your dear emails and comments I have also learned that you are a kind and giving woman.I am so proud to call you a friend. be kind to yourself and know that nothing is wrong or ruined all is perfect as it is including you.
    xoxo

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