I am just
unfolding myself
and my pyjamas
when the door opens
smallest boy
dummy in mouth
biggest blue eyes
mumble mumble splutter
"take your dummy out"
determination flashes
louder more strident
mumble mumble splutter
"I can't understand you"
determination becomes
of the obstinate kind
of the 4 year old kind
time for the guessing game

do you need

a cuddle
a story
a drink of water


have you

wet yourself
wet the bed


do you feel

too hot
too cold
a bit sick
a lot sick


here's what we'll do

I take his hand
and we head back
to his room
where I tuck him in
all the while
keeping up
the patter
you know
the patter
nonsensical chatter
encompassing whatever
pops into your head
at the time

where do we learn this
this soothing
how do we know instinctively
that the only thing
really needed here
is a flow of words
a few more minutes
of company
as I sit watching
him fall from here
all the way down
into dream land.


  1. to trust as a mother, that instinctively, we know, in general in life.
    very good.
    I sometimes lack that trust.

  2. Me too Joz. I lack it. That trust.

    My sisters boys trust me ... more than I trust myself. They don't understand doubt. Such is the wisdom of youth.

    I try to live up to it. xx Jos

  3. To trust someone that much... that is blissful, Utopia. Wonderful. xo

  4. jos, there is this expression: when you trust yourself, trusting anyone else is not an issue.

    sometimes i know that. i am actually pretty skilled at knowing who to trust, short and long term. but several years ago i opened up and let trust take the wheel. it was a terrible mistake, one i am still wrestling with. children don't look at it that way. they are innocent and willing and they know the importance of love. sometimes there will be a cost to pay as they grow up, because sometimes adults don't come through. but you jos, your heart is in the right place and you are so open to honest love.

    i so agree that sometimes the flow of words and just being there makes every difference.

    i very much enjoy your poetry, jos.


  5. Dana, it's so true ...Utopia. Maybe it is only possible with the innocence of youth. Before we can even comprehend that everyone is flawed. It's like they think I'm almost as good as Santa Claus. I dread the day when they realise ...

    KJ, we both know about trust. That it is a choice. For many years I chose not to risk it. And then I did and like you it was a disaster. I broke my heart over it ... I am still medning on that front. And I know you did too. Still, I choose to risk it. I spent so may lonely years because of my inability to risk it. However much it hurts, it is better than that. xx Jos