Isn't This?

I don't want to start fighting again
I am so tired of trying to find
new ways to say the same old things
can't we go walking instead
hold hands and talk of the breeze
or of the sound of the river flow

I just want to walk with you my love
and speak of gentler things
reminding us of times gone by
when there was nothing better
than we two on the same path
wandering homeward together

You think this is avoidance tactics
but when I question this use
of such war-like words you shrug
as if to say well isn't this
I know better than to disagree
but my heart cries into the silence

I don't do much in the way of shouting
having never been able to see the benefit
of using volume over reason
is this why you can't see
the intensity of the emotions I feel
or does your focus rest solely on your own rage

I wonder again how it comes to this
how there is even a question of sides
and rights, since when did we have rights
in our dealings with one another
whatever happened to the art of compromise
that doesn't only require that I back down

Still I don't believe that even these difficulties
cannot be untangled, undone rung by rung
if only we can both ascend to the plateau
an agreed level at just the right height
between your needs and mine
from where we can both see the horizon.


  1. Jos, you have me thinking. Thinking and watching, thinking and watching. That's like having two oars on one side of the boat. Someone's turning. I hope you are able to still for a moment and be heard, get your oars righted, make some headway.


  2. this is raw and beautiful and right. who you are is who you are. i love what woman in a window has said. change changes us, and sometimes we get cracked open in ways that cannot and should not be closed again

    i believe that whatever happens here, jos, whatever is decided and agreed upon or reunited or untangled, the love two people have remains. sometimes the form is different, but not the love.

    take care of yourself, dear jos. you are perfect.


  3. *sigh*, I don't like this scenario one bit Jos...not one bit. Oh yes, have lived through similar vignettes, but I was told by a wise woman, and I have relayed this wisdom to you already...those who speak loudly, hear loudly. Stand on the damn kitchen counter and yell *FUCK* at the top of your lungs. If he doesn't listen at that point, does not understand the gravity of a situation that would pull your silent cries into a torrential scream....then...then....I'll just have to swim the pond and slap him! I would fly...but I'm broke. *sigh*. To start and begin with a *sigh*. But much love and hugs in between. Bloody Hell Jos. I wanna be there with ya.

  4. I think you are all right in one way or another. Love does change us and love itself changes too ... so the cycle of change continues.

    I am as ever guilty of fear driven passivity, a lack of courage in the face of confrontation.

    Whilst I can't change who I am, I can change the way I act. I will crank up the volume, and Erin, I will change hands, someone has to steer! Annie if I threaten him with a visit from you I'm sure that will suffice ... you would scare the beejesus out of him I reckon. It is the pits being broke I know. Those who speack loudly hear loudly ... sage words indeed.

  5. ... will have to get spell check on here. I meant speak ... you knew that though right? xx

  6. Those who speak the silence would some times listen only to the silence as well.

  7. Oh, what I wouldn't do for some equal consideration... I feel you. Love your words, such simply beauty in simple truth. xo

  8. KJ, I love the fact that you are unfailingly kind. That you always find a way to be positive. I did read about your day and will pop by later to comment. You amaze me!

    Allegra I am given to silence. I love quiet ... it creates a space for me to just be. I am going to take a picture to send you of the roses I mentioned earlier.

    Dana, I wonder if it might be that the more we assume equality ... have an expectation of it perhaps ... the more it will be forthcoming. Wouldn't that be good?

    xx Jos