The cycle of harm

What happens when the "done to" become "doers" themselves
ah now there is a topic that needs some consideration
and the picture you posted led me to all night thinking
for in my many attempts to heal I've thankfully never once
considered the possibility of becoming a "doer", and yet

From the outset I settled to never become a parent myself
unsure that the damage done wouldn't do more in turn
so this taking out of insurance against possible infliction
has had consequences not considered those many years ago
an enduring self doubt heightened at the advent of Charlotte

A girl who may have proved something but hadn't the chance
passing as she did straight from the womb to immortality
where whispers of what might have been become meaningless
and anyway what if these doubts were in fact with foundation
well then eternity is a safe place from any mortal harm

But back to the question of "done to's" becoming "doers"
never an inevitability and yet never without some risk
the instinct to inflict pain in order to heal is not new
but whilst some choose to do to others, most choose themselves
perhaps this part of the cycle of harm is an unseen outcome

Because some things are hard to say for just about everyone
and no more so than when describing these innermost aspects
these hallowed halls of our minds eye, our individual creations
where thoughts can play themselves out in indescribable ways
repeatedly defeating the constructs of our own poor defense

Leading in it's own turn to the quest to defeat that within us
and here the choices are skewed in a way not often appreciated
for people more complete cannot easily imagine the fragility
or the viewpoint towards this ever diminishing horizon
resulting from defeats endured during our internal warfare

But that is not to say that "doers" must therefore be excused
or that pain suffered can in any way be used as justification
I refuse to believe that there is no knowledge here of wrong
and I fully concede that some gain a kind of twisted satisfaction
from inflicting the darkness within, continuing the cycle of harm

So what is the answer here, how do we break through the cycle
I suppose we start as ever from both within and without
looking to heal both perpetrators of harm and their victims
accepting that those who do abhorrent things to others
are the flip side of those doing such harm to themselves

Can we turn our backs because of our own limited horizons
our inability to comprehend two sides of the same coin
do we pillory because it is simpler than striving for wisdom
despite knowing that such complex matters require more of us
that any solution discarding some involved is no solution at all

What if I were asked to sit face to face with my monster man
would I understand ... would he? Would any difference result
or would the cycle of harm thus continue into perpetuity
how would this in any way stop the goings on behind closed doors
does asking people to face their own monsters diminish them?

In the here and now we can only work to provide escape routes
and truly safe havens widely known of and available to all
guarding against those who would prey on these vulnerable ones
whilst at the same time building, diminishing the vulnerability
somehow though we must also address healing doers of harm too.


... and what of the picture that prompted this train of thought?


Well if you are interested, follow this link;

Circling My Head: Soundless Saturday No. 57

... and whilst you're there have a look at the rest of Renee's incredible blog, it is full of wisdom and the kind of reality that celebrates life's richness.