Reflection

There are many ways to be lonely
many ways to hide the fact
that what seems to be isn't
that smiles are easy to manufacture
slipping behind the masquerade
of politeness and joviality

But towards the end of the day
there are moments of reflection
seeing again what lies beneath
an acknowledgement of aloneness
despite the seeming hub-bub
of others comings and goings

I hate the masquerade really
so why do I keep playing
padding out my isolation
this false comfort of companions
who are here only for now
and who don't know me, not really

I am often lonely through and through
though I spend little time alone
or so it would seem
people fill much of my life and time
but this feeling of separation
this loneliness persists

Except with those few, special few
who by trusting win my trust
time spent amongst these friends
is like slipping into old jeans
rambling under the harvest moon
puddle jumping in the rain

I would that there were more friends
but I am losing the knack
of their making somehow
as distance becomes ever greater
and time drives our lives apart
making me a better letter writer

I am so glad you are there
but I'd much rather you were here
in my sight, within touching distance
words on a page don't mean less
but I prefer the immediacy
of the sound of our laughter.

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful melancholy.

    You don't need a lot of friends just true friends; but to have them, you have to be true too.

    xoxox

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  2. Friendship is such an elusive thing as we grow older. I've one real in the flesh. Maybe two, depending on definition. Yes, in the flesh. Hold each other. However, I wouldn't anyway. I'd hide. So here, with people who are real and honest and raw, it is enough for now. And then I almost laugh because I imagine one day getting together in your kitchen, hey, you, joker, Renee, me. That would be something, wouldn't it? I think, why doesn't someone put together a grand gathering of bloggers? That would be great! And then I remember Blogher in Chicago and I am going, but even there I will probably hide. More likely, run away. It won't be your kitchen nor mine.

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  3. If you do run away Erin, make sure it's in the direction of my kitchen ... and bring Renee along for the ride! We'd have a right hoot we four I'm sure. Consider it an open and sincere invitation. It's hard not to succumb to the desire to hide in 'real life' ... I do it all the time too. xxJ

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