A poor solution

Have you ever
jumped
leaped off the edge
how did it feel
were you scared
were you aware
more alive

Did you stop
at the precipice
look down
see the depths
feel the fear
tingle of excitement
but anyway


Did you jump
a leap of faith
believing
the outer edge
would miss you
leave you falling
into infinity

I heard the call
some nurse
did I know you
was I related
shared history
locked eyes
killing you

I remember
pain unrelenting
hidden deep within
monster moving
rough hands on us
eyes imploring
can we escape

Not then but now
we are bigger
children grown
bodies beyond desire
of despicable urges
adult form without
child still within

I hold your hand
I will you well
I wish you better
and yet, and yet
healing withheld
waves washing over
buoys notwithstanding

I wait for news
white coated men
who keep secrets
from those who care
who wait outside
seeing these movies
reliving this with you

What resolution
some healing somehow
will you accept
a life half lived
a healing half given
a compromise
a poor solution