Walking on.

I met a Seer who asked me to look
so I turned my head to follow her gaze
seeing nothing of note I turned again
to find her countenance radiant with joy
in wonder she said to me “did you see?”
wanting some part of her joy I nodded
knowing that it was a lie, I walked on

Meeting a Believer who said “have faith”
while on her knees she asked me to pray
so I said some words not of my heart
and watched as her face filled with peace
then she said to me, “your faith is strong”
wanting some part of her peace I nodded
knowing it was in part a lie, I walked on

I then met a Doer who asked for help
she looked strong in her determination
so I stayed to lend a hand in the doing
watching the tasks completed mount up
in satisfaction she said "you've done well"
wanting some regard in myself I nodded
it was in most part a lie, so I walked on

To find a Done-Toer asking for comfort
her vivid scars were clear to see
displaying her vulnerability with pride
making my heart ache as I drew near
she said “you have wounds deeper than I”
wanting to share in her comfort I nodded
an unfathomable lie, yet I walked on

Meeting a Listener who asked me to hear
even in my impatience I paused awhile
as she described such beauty in sounds
she said "you hear what others cannot"
I tried to discern beyond the cacophony
and told of melodies playing in the wind
lies written on my face as I walked on

I next met a Thinker who spoke little
in her silence she compelled me to stop
telling me that all answers lie within
so I sat pondering a purpose in it all
then she said to me “you are enlightened”
and wanting to think this true I nodded
lying time and again as I walked on

To meet a Teacher asking for wisdom
thinking I had some to share I spoke
words spilling out over each other
as I emptied myself of lessons half learnt
after a pause she said "you are a wise one"
and in my pride I nodded my agreement
more lies added to others as I walked on

And found a Healer asking of me nothing
being also a Believer, Doer, Thinker, Seer
seemingly all these things and more
my heart stood still even as I stood still
under the gaze of one seeing some of my lies
a voice said “look” and I trembled turning
to see only a Seeker walking towards truth

So I asked for meaning instead of healing
in delight the Healer laughed and said
“steps have purpose and meaning of their own
remember, beauty is found in these fragments
that make up the whole, so walk more gentley"
taking a hold of my hands the Healer smiled
as I nodded my head and turned to walk on.

Flawed

If words are but our thoughts spoken
why is it madness to talk to oneself
and why is it that when looking inside
we find such duality in our own natures
craven and pure standing side by side
along with the many degrees between

We none of us are what we seem
yet knowing this, seeing the fa├žade
would we rather believe than doubt
better perhaps to have faith in a sham
than to face uncomfortable truths
stripped down bare what do we become

Mirrors reflect only the masks worn
ears hear only words spoken aloud
if appearance is all, then all is lost
for who is capable of appearing perfect
and how can we delight in our being
being imperfect with such deep flaws

Pain at every turn when turning inward
falsehood all around looking outward
those who promise faithfulness lie
unaware that while perfection beckons
we mortals are not able to attain it
such is the grievous nature of self

Nature is by its very nature flawed
we who persist in believing otherwise
fall prey time and again to the perils
of hurt and perpetual disappointment
brought low by our own shortcomings
dashed against the rocks of recrimination

If I say I hate the person that I am
I know you in your gentle generosity
will ask me to reconsider, to be kinder
in my darkened soul lies stand upon lies
reaching ever higher towards the light
in this light I'm not at all what I seem.

A promise

It’s funny how a heart can be heavy
and yet a bit lighter at the same time
strange that you’d already said goodbye
and only some time later I come to reply

How do you part from precious friends
when they’ve become something more
part of the cornerstone on which we stand
integral to the very fabric of our lives

How can a friendship still in its infancy
have come to mean so much, so soon
only because of an awareness of time
that for some it stretches too short a way

I remember these words you wrote to me
Isn’t it great we get to know each other,
don’t you think so??” Can you imagine
how wonderful those words were to read

And it captures something quite rare
an openness for sure, but there’s more
a willingness to share your own heart
calling up a response from deep within

With little time heart must speak to heart
and so it was that our friendship was forged
even as the battle intensified towards its end
as you walked in the fire that cancer brings

Leaving us to look on from the flames edge
as they slowly engulfed you, dear heart
until at last release has come to free you
with wings you rise even as the flames die

There’s a place beyond where no regrets exist
what passes for currency there you already have
in such abundance as to be rich beyond compare
the thought of that lightens my heavy heart

It only remains for me to say this last thing
no, this is not goodbye, that I will not abide
we both know that life goes on in the beyond
I will always remember the promise we made.

Safe Havens

Safe havens come in many forms
sometimes containing things
previously considered unsafe
only upon reflection with the relative
comfort of distance can it be seen
that everything has its own nature

Maybe by learning the nature of things
predictability can reduce randomness
not altogether but perhaps just enough
anxiety lessening as excitement grows
a fascination in the prediction process
reducing those old fears and distress

A lesson that if carried forward
creates safer havens in more forms
a confidence that should unexpected
events occur, this is not in or of itself
a matter that need be of undue concern
safety thus becomes a state of mind

I went to just such a place recently
where through warmth and laughter
I learnt again that difference is good
more inclusive than banal uniformity
spectrum of diversity becoming the norm
appreciated for its multicoloured hue

Some safe havens draw you into them
so instead of the feeling on the outside
I’m ushered in to take a chair by the fire
sat in a resting place with good company
accepted without question or distrust
trusting in turn bringing its own reward

Wisdom falls often on stony ground
but wandering once more upon the path
of recollection, happening on a stone
upon which are written simple words
saying when hard things happen in life
it helps to know there will be an after

Now that is treasure worth pocketing
and carrying home this precious gift
I ponder how to share it back to its giver
along with gratitude for time and welcome
with truly healing hugs and mugs of tea
made stronger by bonds of friendship.

Another request

There are valleys of pain
once in you must walk through
the steep sides cannot be climbed
there are no shortcuts to up and away

Pain has it’s own lessons to teach
and won’t stand by being unheard
patience holds hands with pain
forcing us to be still and experience

To surrender some part of ourselves
to the inevitability that release
comes only in its own time, not ours
that it has meaning beyond existence

I would that this were not so, even so
but power over such matters as this
lies elsewhere, if indeed it lies anywhere
surely a subject of its own plunging depths

Beyond reasoning even as I rage
at the injustice that allows pain
to be wrought so indiscriminately
robbing us of ourselves and others

To the point where even existence itself
seems pointless when we cannot know
what fate holds, how life will unfold
turning corners onto unknown avenues

Where the gods promise only uncertainty
well, certainly in this life if not the next
the cycle of life perpetuates the myth
that things stay the same when they don’t

Is pain visited only on thinking beings
or is it that we are deaf to the screams
as plants wither, as leaves dry and drop
limbs falling to the ground of the forest

I would like to take The Makers hand
lead her to the place pain was first created
and ask her to unmake this one thing
unknowing of the consequences therein