When I gave my heart to you
I never thought I'd take it back
I always assumed in my usual way
that this was the very nature
of the promise we made together

and it was, and I don't regret it

My heart has been in safe hands
but never in perfect hands
where in the world do we find
what we never knew we needed
because we thought we needed safety

and we did, and I don't regret it

Time, why do we always end up different
with the passage of time
and yet assume that nothing changes
having built a place of such safety
we've been able to flourish and grow

so we have, and I don't regret it

Except I do, I do regret a lot of things
the distance that's grown between us
the distance my heart has wandered
making me wonder it's got to that time
when I should hand your heart back to you

and if I do, will I regret it

I feel that your heart is no longer safe
as it always used to be in my keeping
and whilst I still honour the gift of it
I have not done all I could have
to honour the spirit in which it was given

I could have, and I do regret this

From here the way forward is unclear
the temptation to tarry is so strong
this fear of putting another foot wrong
and most of all that one more step
might take me beyond the point of no return

from there there'll be no point in regrets

The courage it takes to look into your heart
is of little use if you lack the wherewithal
to accept what it is telling you
in turn what point is there in knowledge
if not that it calls out to be acted upon

and if not, what sorry tales of regret await the teller


  1. Can you talk to him? You still love him it sounds like. Can it be worked out? And still honour yourself?

  2. Jos, I can feel how hard this all is, but you are brave and you won't stand still for long.
    I agree with Lilith, talk to him. A zillion hugs.

  3. I've been there - thought I could never get back...but now feel that I have. Wasn't easy tho' but I wanted to. good luck Jos....

  4. dear jos, the talking may just be saying your truth outloud, maybe deciding to step away for a time, maybe crying together, maybe only words that fall short. i don't know what is best. it may seem that you don't know either. but i will tell you this: there will be a time ahead when you will know you've done the right and best thing with care.

    so much courage. i applaud your courage, jos. this is not something you can stuff back in and hope for the best. your body and your heart won't allow restuffing. maybe acknowledging that makes the rest easier even if it doesn't feel that way.

    with love always

  5. The matters of the heart..I really know if there is a right answer..You just have to go with your heart..Even though sometimes it breaks it into..For that there is also a reason even if we do not understand...There is a future plan that is much better for you..

  6. There is no easy fix... I wish it were so....but, you are trying to communicate - and this is s paramount....when all talking stops - hope vanishes. Still, with each passing day, you have come so far....taken many steps have so much courage.. Remember that in your heart - you are doing all you can for Love.


    ♥ Robin ♥