Hoping for a better past

It's not that often that something
changes in a fundamental way
the way I think on things generally
but have a read of these simple words
are you still hoping for a better past?

Oh my word well yes sir I still am
and now you come to say it like that
I see in a way I just couldn't before
how bloody ridiculous such wishing is
but where does it leave me (you) now?

I guess I'd have to say thinking again
no, not experiencing past pain afresh
thinking again on the nature of hope
a way to leave it all behind, move on
to a life without the burden of regret

Now that I have finally come to realise
each re-visit has this wish contained
an impossible dream, a different result
and yet I am so almost whole, even so
so why do I nurture the fractures then?

Is it a form of lazy narcissism at play
wallowing in pain used as an excuse
for not appreciating what's here, now
when what I feel now is so unworthy
to just enjoy ... to even to feel ... joy.


  1. that is an amazing way of looking at things - "hoping for a better past" - it contains so much.

  2. i nurture fractures.... maybe we all do?
    but what i do know, that hoping for a better past is not in vain.

  3. I am coming to realize something about my self...or perhpas only scratch the surface of it, sniffing for truth. But I wonder if I hold myself in these fractures because I am so much more aware there. Happiness bears with it an ease, you know. An almost unconscious compliance, whereas pain is a wake up call. I wish to be awake. Aware. Very aware and observant and teachable. So yes...I am just trying this on for size, seeing what fits.

    You are a dear. Thank you for sharing. As you share..I learn. You give me this...teachable moments. Thank you!

    ~ annie

  4. Push toward tomorrow.

    I am quiet around your past. Pasts can be rewritten - some of them anyway. I can't know though about the depth and weight of yours. I just hope for tomorrow.